On the Supreme Court front this week, I’ll post separately about yesterday’s decision in Citizens United v. Federal Elections Commission, one of the most inexplicable cases of judicial activism in the history of the Court.  If anything, the Roberts Court has proven that if anybody in D.C. has “audacity,” its the current Supreme Court majority.  In four short years, they’ve become the 1970’s Oakland Raiders of government, with Chief Justice Roberts as Al Davis.  Congress might pass its laws, but this outlaw Court doesn’t give a damn what Congress thinks.  In an institution that values stability and decorum and incremental action, Roberts’ court breaks all the unwritten rules of stare decisis and judicial deference and constitutional ripeness.  Citizens United does to campaign finance reform what Jack Tatum did to Sammy White in Super Bowl XI.  

On the movie front, here’s what we’ve got in theaters this weekend:

Legion:  Let’s see if we can sort out the theological stance of this one, shall we?  God has lost faith with humanity, presumably because we’re unrepentant sinners.  Fair enough.  So He sends a plague of angels to destroy us.  But, doesn’t this mean that if we fight the angels, we’re fighting the will of God?  That puts Dennis Quaid on the wrong side of God, right?  But wait—there’s this Last Hope Of Humanity Baby that’s going to save us.  If this baby is the Second Coming, then why is God trying to destroy us?  I mean, that would defeat the whole point of the Second Coming, wouldn’t it?  And if the baby is going to save us, why are we blasting God’s angels with automatic weapons?  Isn’t that going to just make Him more mad?  And—wouldn’t this movie be much better if Paul Bettany played this guy again, and these two guys squared off against Gabriel?  I think it would

The Tooth Fairy:  Memo to NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman:  Sign The Rock to be the Toronto Maple Leafs’ enforcer.  The Yankees of hockey haven’t been an interesting franchise since Tie Domi retired, and the NHL desperately needs more of this.  Dwayne’s good for it, and I can’t imagine that this niche he’s carved out as Disney’s muscle-y enlarged heart of gold can be satisfying for much longer.  Cross-promote it with Vince McMahon, and this is how you’ll finally crack the Southern market:  Bring rasslin’ fans into the mix.  ‘Roided up meatheads throwing their bodies with reckless abandon into glass, cutting themselves and knocking out teeth…why wouldn’t WWE fans love hockey? If you’re going to get back on ESPN, you’ve got to think outside the box, Gary.  The fact that I’ve rambled on this long about some crazy hockey/wrestling synergy tells you everything I think about the prospects for this movie. 

Extraordinary Measures:  Dr. Indiana Jones tries to cure Monkeybone’s daughters, or something like that.  The highlight of the trailer is Harrison Ford delivering the line, “Nobody is going to tell me how to run my lab!” just like the President in Air Force One.